My soul mate finds truth in whimsical, slightly odd films. He speaks a foreign language...or 2 or 3. He prays like there's no tomorrow and worships like eternity isn't long enough to love Jesus. He will work in Congo but he's not Congolese. He'll be able to make me laugh until I cry. He is hot. He has a sense of style. He won't be a party pooper.
I guess. I mean, I've never seen a soul mate before. I think I'll recognize him though.
I think he's like 5'10" with really cool glasses and light brown messy hair. He wears t-shirts from Goodwill and expensive jeans that his rich friend from college handed down to him so he'd stop wearing his favorite cargo pants from high school. He turned down Yale and Princeton to go to a local seminary. He's often found by the river, eating an apple and reading a good book or playing his guitar (I never realized my soul mate was a yuppy hippie!). He’s not into sports, but he kicks butt at Ultimate Frisbee. He can school me at pool, but only about half the time. He loves his dog. He goes to the dentist every 6 months and has nightmares that his teeth became crooked. He likes to shop at Trader Joe's, but he never checks out my hot friend Carrie 'cause redheads just aren't his type; plus he’s just too happy about all the free samples he just ate and the box of truffles he bought me. He offers to pick his friends up at the airport just to get that exciting feeling of going to the airport and to see all the funny people there. I guess he must be from Portland.
I'm just making this up as I go along. If anyone out there reading this matches this description, don't worry, I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about my mystical soul mate who isn't a real person. I probably wouldn't like to meet a real person like this because they would smell sometimes or say annoying things or want to take me out, and that's just not very mystical. My soul mate is very mystical. On the other hand, if you or anyone you know matches this description, please write to me, or feel free to stop by my office in Brazzaville. I take soul mate appointments every Monday.