Thursday, September 21, 2006

Portrait of a Compatible Soul Mate

My soul mate finds truth in whimsical, slightly odd films. He speaks a foreign language...or 2 or 3. He prays like there's no tomorrow and worships like eternity isn't long enough to love Jesus. He will work in Congo but he's not Congolese. He'll be able to make me laugh until I cry. He is hot. He has a sense of style. He won't be a party pooper.

I guess. I mean, I've never seen a soul mate before. I think I'll recognize him though.

I think he's like 5'10" with really cool glasses and light brown messy hair. He wears t-shirts from Goodwill and expensive jeans that his rich friend from college handed down to him so he'd stop wearing his favorite cargo pants from high school. He turned down Yale and Princeton to go to a local seminary. He's often found by the river, eating an apple and reading a good book or playing his guitar (I never realized my soul mate was a yuppy hippie!). He’s not into sports, but he kicks butt at Ultimate Frisbee. He can school me at pool, but only about half the time. He loves his dog. He goes to the dentist every 6 months and has nightmares that his teeth became crooked. He likes to shop at Trader Joe's, but he never checks out my hot friend Carrie 'cause redheads just aren't his type; plus he’s just too happy about all the free samples he just ate and the box of truffles he bought me. He offers to pick his friends up at the airport just to get that exciting feeling of going to the airport and to see all the funny people there. I guess he must be from Portland.

I'm just making this up as I go along. If anyone out there reading this matches this description, don't worry, I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about my mystical soul mate who isn't a real person. I probably wouldn't like to meet a real person like this because they would smell sometimes or say annoying things or want to take me out, and that's just not very mystical. My soul mate is very mystical. On the other hand, if you or anyone you know matches this description, please write to me, or feel free to stop by my office in Brazzaville. I take soul mate appointments every Monday.

18 comments:

erin said...

only on Mondays?

taxi said...

I thought my list was tough.

taxi said...

What do you have against Congolese?

The Wilkinsons said...

Hey, what's wrong with Yale? :)

Anonymous said...

Ask dream guy - he's the one that turned Yale down.

Linguistica said...

What do I have against Yale and Congolese?

I have nothing against Yale, especially now that my sweet Liz is there! :o) I was just describing my "soul mate" as he came to my mind. I wanted him to go to school in Oregon, but I thought having turned down Yale made him sound smart :o)

As for Congolese...Taxi, do you really want me to get into this? OK, you asked, so don't get offended! For starters, intercultural marriages have a lot of special challenges. It would be a major identity issue for me to be married to an African and it's a bit more of a commitment to this continent than I am currently prepared to make.

Specifically regarding Congolese, my main issue is fidelity. At least in some tribes, having multiple sexual partners is encouraged from a very young age. Many don't believe it's actually possible to save yourself for marriage and to remain faithful to one partner. This is a problem for me.

I could go on, but this is just a comment and not a blog entry, so I'll call that good.

The Wilkinsons said...

Hmmm...he sounds an awful lot like the father that Paddington never had...hehehe...just kidding. But I met someone yesterday who is like one of Johnny P's best friends from home, and I was thinking about sophomore year. I miss it. I miss you.

taxi said...

to think that I'd set aside Monday afternoon for an appt...

Anonymous said...

Oh wow! If you find a guy like that, can you find out if he has a brother?

Your friend in the soul-mate-search (if he indeed exists),

Cortney

Linguistica said...

Sure Cortney! Then we'd be sisters! I didn't know we had the same taste in men, but I should have guessed it since we're such kindred spirits.

Even if I may not believe in "soul mates" I definitely believe in kindred spirits. Though you can have a number of kindred spirits, not just anyone can become one, so it still has that mystical quality. I guess it's like chemistry, only not just in the sexual sense. Maybe a soul mate is a kindred spirit plus the destiny factor? OK, I'm rambling.

johne nomad said...

All this "kindred spirits" talk makes me feel like I'm in a rerun of Anne of Green Gables.

"Destiny factor"?

Linguistica said...

Yes, Anne may have coined that phrase, but I use it all the time.

"destiny factor": you know, the idea that there is ONE Person out there for you.

Carrie said...

Oh, he's out there. And it'll fit more than you ever imagined. :) But who says redheads aren't his type? Aren't redheads everyone's type? hahaha. Counting the days 'till I give you a physical hug.

Anonymous said...

What about facial hair?

Linguistica said...

Hmmmm...Interesting question. I think it depends on the person. Oh wait, we're talking about my imaginary soul mate so I get to decide. He does facial hair sometimes. When he's feeling especially hippyish he just lets it go. Plus I think it's like a prereq for missionary men to grow a beard.

I didn't mention body art either, but I must say an earring can be quite sexy. One or two tattoes would be exceptable, but nothing exaggerated :o)

Can't say I'm a fan of anonymous comments, but I'll let it slide this time.

Jessica

Anonymous said...

Sorry, my bad.

Jason

taxi said...

I can't help that I can't grow a beard!

But I'm sure I could get plenty of earrings & tatoos, if you'd just get over the fact that I'm Congolese.

Linguistica said...

Would everyone puhleeease stop fighting over me? Sheesh. I'm calling off the hunt for a soul mate. It's easier to just hang out with my cat.

:o)
Jessica