Saturday, September 24, 2005

Exuding

OK, here's an entry from my journal. Seems all I've done for a couple of days is write! So you can expect more where this came from.

I find myself in yet another plane, making one last take-off, unable to leave my journal properly stored in the bag under the seat in front of me. Something about having so many experiences in such a short time makes me want to create something. As I look through the flight magazine I have the urge to start clipping words and pictures and make a collage, though I know I’d be unhappy at the end with my 3rd grade level artistic expression.

So I turn to writing. I mean, I can speak, so surely I can write. Right? During these travels I’ve puzzled over how guide book and travel log authors do what they do. How do they take the tedium of travel and turn it into an adventure? I think that most of all they notice and remember the details. I could say, “Last week I visited a Muslim village in the middle of a lake in Thailand,” and that sounds kind of cool. But I could also say, “Last week, as I began to explore a rustic little Muslim village perched atop pillars in the middle of a lake in Southern Thailand, a woman thrust upon me her 3 cuddly monkeys, one of which was wearing a little white onesie, and then demanded I pay her for the unsolicited photos she took of me on my own camera,” and that makes the scene some to life. A monkey in a onesie? Ah yes, those are the details that turn tedium to adventure.

Hmm…writing is indeed scratching my creative itch. But not quite. I’m just so full of experiences, and contentment, and memories, and images, and thankfulness. I just want to “exude.” Can exuding be an artistic expression? These are the times when I’m so glad to know that God knows all my thoughts and feeling. With Him I can indeed just sit and exude and He gets it. He likes it that I’ve enjoyed His creation, that I’m found fulfillment in being with others who worship Him, that I’m thankful for all He’s blessed me with.

I hope you understand what I mean by “exude.” Not that you could tell me the dictionary definition, but that you too have had that feeling in life. What is that feeling? It’s not being able to keep a smile from curling around your lips. It’s having a song in your heart. It’s laughing out loud…even when you’re by yourself. Or better yet, by yourself out in public! There’s nothing better than being so happy that you can smile to yourself while out in public just because your thoughts are so happy. Sometimes even a laugh comes out before I know it.

And we don’t need 3 weeks in Thailand to achieve that state. In fact, 3 week trips can often have the opposite effect! I’ve never thought before about what it takes to make me exude, but I think there are several factors: Peace with God, peace with who I am, and peace with the world. Peace is key. From there it doesn’t take much, just observation of cute or good or funny things going on around me or reflection on such things from the past or projection to such things in the future. Besides laughter, other ways I get my exude out are singing and dancing. If I’m not able to express it, it just comes out in much happy sighing. I highly recommend it. So go ahead, make peace with God, start enjoying who you are, forget about the busyness and stress of this world and let yourself experience the great life that’s been rushing by you. You’ll surely find a reason to exude. When you do, why not post a comment about it?!

PS: I’m aware that some of you may be bothered by my unconventional (i.e.: incorrect) use of the word “exude.” But I’m simply quoting from my journal. What is written is written.

“Let Israel rejoice in their Maker; let the people of Zion be glad in their King. Let them praise his name with dancing and make music to him with tambourine and harp. For the Lord takes delight in his people; he crowns the humble with salvation. Let the saints rejoice in this honor and sing for joy on their beds.” Psalm 149:3-5

“I will sing to the Lord all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live. May my mediation be pleasing to him, as I rejoice in the Lord.” Psalm 104:33-34

“God richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.” 1 Timothy 6:17

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Wonderfully said, Jessica. That is such a hard feeling to express, and the laughing out loud and spinnning with hands in the air only makes others shake their heads more. I wonder how many people really even know what it means to "exude?" You are right, as well, about this feeling causing a great desire to create. (Remind me to email you a poem I wrote on just such a day.) I think it is because we are, for a time, free. Perhaps we are even nearer to the heart of God for that period, because we are simply exulting in Him and forgetting to think so much about ourselves.

Mostly I tend to feel this way when I am out in God's unadulterated Creation. It was hard for me to adjust to the lack of bold scenery here on campus in Missouri, but only at first. The need to praise Him for what He has made was so great in me that He finally got to me simply through the weather! I began to laugh out when it rained or the wind blew strong, because I felt as if God was saying "See, I can touch You. I can reach You wherever You are. I made this for you, to tell you that I love you and want fellowship with you. Revel in it."

That's it: that's the word I use, but could not remember. On days like this, I revel in the sheer joy of being as He made me to be.