Sunday, December 11, 2005

Not So Patiently Waiting

So here’s an interesting incident for you. I was perusing the books at a local Christian bookstore and I happened to take a look at the section about singles and dating (by “happened to” I mean that I made a nose dive for it, of course, desperately seeking the magic key to unlock the man of my dreams). The first book I picked up had some suspicious title basically about 10 something-or-others for getting a boyfriend and keeping him. Disapproving, yet curious to know if I was missing out on anything, I opened it up…to a page giving advice about plastic surgery!! What in the world? To be in a Christian bookstore hoping for a little wisdom from above and to instead be advised that I might want to surgically alter my body if I want to see some action, well, I had some very unchristian words under my breath as I begrudgingly placed that piece of trash back on the shelf for the next unsuspecting victim to read.

The other books I looked at were a bit more conventional, but none had anything I needed. Either they were only going to tell me what I already know, or they were going to give me advice that goes against what I know I need to do. I don’t see that I have need of a book to tell me not to waste my life waiting for Mr. Right. Duh, got that one down. And many of the others are just full of ideas for how to manipulate people, as if girls need lessons. Then there’s the ones that tell me what I don’t want to hear, but what is true: the only magic formula is patience—patience for God to bring the right person into my life, patience for the right timing, patience to allow the man to be the one to pursue.

I find that we (as single girls, as humans in various circumstances in general) don’t do patience very well. We’d rather do anything than wait for God to deliver us or have to depend on someone else. We’ll maybe have patience in the face of discomfort for like a day, but then it’s time to take matters into our own hands.

“This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: ‘In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it. You said, “No, we will flee on horses.” Therefore you will flee! You said, “We will ride off on swift horses.” Therefore your pursuers will be swift! Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!’” Isaiah 30:15-18

“But we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” Romans 5:3, 4

4 comments:

Missy said...

I had a most interesting conversation with my roommate last night about the very topic of dating and how Christians seem to have distorted it in the sense that we continually try and make a simple 10 point formula for something as dynamic as a relationship between two people, each who have been designed and created differently, no two alike. If anyone can create a formula for that I declare them the smartest person in the world. Seriously, I think you do have a good grasp on it...patience is hard, relationships are complicated. But in the end, I will deal with it because I know that this incredible God who created us so uniquely designed it to work out that way!

We need to connect before you leave. Shoot me an email with your number so I can talk to you before you go!

Anonymous said...

I greatly appreciated this blog, as well as Missy's insightful comment! Your blog reminded me of a VERY similar scene when I first got back to the states. I laughed out loud when the first books I spied in that section, side-by-side, were "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" &... "I Gave Dating a Chance"! :)

Although desiring to find a like-minded mate is a fine thing, these books betray the idolatry that this pursuit often (& easily!) becomes. We try SO hard to find happiness (contentment) in places that by nature can't provide it. I think it was St. John of the Cross, the Spanish mystic, that referred to such longings as trying to fill "the infinite abyss of the soul". No person, place, thing, or activity can fill such longings on their own... unless it's a Person of infinite greatness... Yeah, only the Spirit of Yahweh can provide true hope - filling that place in my soul! That's why Romans 5 goes on to say in verse 5 that "And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

Your blog also reminded me of the concept of "the tyranny of choice", & of a G.K. Chesterton quote, "The riddles of God are more satisfying than the solutions of man." But there's no time to really develop those thoughts, as family calls! (literally! :)

ckjolly said...

it sounds as if you are learning the same life lessons as i am. i too have been learning that the Lord expects me to wait. isn't that so hard for us, women, to do?!! we see a problem and our nuturing nature seeks to immediately rectify it. sigh. check out my posts on "noble men of intention" ... i've also written a bit on the topic.

christine
(another fan of Late Tuesday)

amy lineburg said...

Hi, I figured I should say thanks for the blog, because I"ve been sharing it with people. Don't ask me how I found it, because I just happened to see you worked in Congo from Aaron's Sudan blog = and have a friend who's with Wycliffe in the area. Diff. Congo though :) I'm in Peru doing linguistics with WA and am from PDX to, and taught at ORSIL 06! Too bad about 07! What a small world. God bless!! And thanks for the great blog!