Congo Culture Day 2

Day 2 Being Bossy

Here in Congo it’s a lot easier to tell other people what to do or to give them advice. You just say it matter of fact. Perhaps this is partly due to the fact that there is a definite age hierarchy. You must respect anyone who is older than you, and from the time you’re able to talk you’re allowed to boss around anyone who is younger. You don’t have to couch what you say with phrases like, “I was wondering if maybe you could possibly think about picking up some bread at the store for me?” No, no, just say, “Hey you, go buy bread.” If you’re really nice, you say “please.” And the same goes for giving advice; just give it to them directly, no beating around the bush.

I think that one of the reasons they are able to tell others what to do so bluntly is that it’s considered a loving act and not rude. Giving advice is a way of showing someone that you care. This makes it really easy to exhort someone from the Scriptures, although whether or not they actually take it to heart is another matter.

It can be a bit frustrating for me when I go out with Maria. They like to bundle their babies up here, so people are always yelling at me, “You need to cover your child well!” “Why didn’t you put a hat on her?” (Note that we’re living on the Equator, not the North Pole.) I need to remember that people say such things to be helpful, not critical (at least that’s a nice way of looking at it whether or not it’s a culturally accurate observation!).

There are the perks, although it’s hard for me to really feel comfortable bossing around people who are younger than me. I’m just now getting used to it a bit, sending Espérance’s “younger brothers” on errands and such, but I still have a tendency to prefer to do something myself rather than to ask someone else to do it for me. About the time I’ll get the hang of it I’ll move back to the US and get blank stares from insolent little American children who are not used to being told what to do!