"Finding a soul mate on your own and knowing if you're really compatible has never been more confusing or difficult."
The above statement really hits me the wrong way. What do you think? This is a statement made by eHarmony, a very popular and surprisingly effective match-making site. Their aim is to help people find their "soul mate." I think this kind of match-making is valid in this day and age, but the idea of selling soul mates is a little disturbing to me. First of all, I'm not sure I believe in soul mates. Second of all, why should it be harder today? Do we think God has dropped the ball in the soul mate department?
Define, "compatibility" for me. In many cultures, compatibility consists in family status and wealth, or coming from the right branch of the family tree or the right tribe. Maybe this is why everything is confusing and difficult for us westerners, because we don't have such structures in place in our society to tell us who we should marry. For me, I am not on a quest to find my soul mate. "Soul mate" sounds rather mystical, and if it is, then it seems like that person will come to me. God will cause our paths to cross. He has been doing this throughout history so I don't really feel panicked that our society has messed things up over the last few decades with our lame ideas of dating and compatibility and soulmates.
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4 comments:
"Compatability" = "one who can get me a visa & plane ticket to america".
I might state eHarmony's aim a little differently, "Their aim is to MAKE A PROFIT through helping people GET MARRIED". As many people legitimately feel confused & that this is a difficult task on their shoulders, it's in eHarmony's interest to agree that it's harder than ever & to involve a complicated process to make matches (not to say that it's not a helpful process).
I think a likely translation for "compatibility" in its current usage would be "odds of survival based on common interests & preferences". Fair enough. But such honesty does take something out of the mystical way we often use the term "soul mates".
Maybe Taxi should expand on his list of preferences... make it a little more complicated, so that eHarmony can help & so that he doesn't have to change much at all for his soul mate.
She must like to swim, like long drives by the ocean, yellow as her favorite color, money as a low priority in life, listen to reggae, have brunette hair, & otherwise look like Pamela Anderson.
Good luck, Taxi.
J-Le, do you have such a list for compatibility... er, soul mate... um, the one you'd like to marry?
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