What is a grandmother?

By Jean-Pierre Meyer, translated from the French by Jessica Lebold

What is a grandmother?

A grandmother is a lady who doesn’t have any children but who loves other people’s kids.

Grandmothers don’t have anything else to do but to just be there. They are old and shouldn’t play or run too much. All they need to do is take us to the store with enough quarters for us to ride the horse. And if they take us for a walk, they should slow down when we see some pretty leaves or a caterpillar, without saying: “Hurry up!”

Generally grandmas are fat, but not so much that they can’t tie our shoes. They wear glasses and funny underwear. They can take out their teeth and gums.

Grandmothers don’t have to be scholars. It is enough that they can tell us why God isn’t married and why dogs chase cats.

They don’t talk to us like we’re babies like visitors do. When they read to us they don’t skip over a single word and they happily read the same story over again.

Everyone should try to have a grandma, especially if they don’t have a TV, because they’re the only big people who have time.